I’m Jenny Deng, a rising high school junior from Chicago currently based in Dallas, Texas. Having grown up in white-dominated areas and constantly feeling the struggle of being too Chinese or too American, I’m passionate about AAPI and LGBTQ+ issues and representation, especially the intersectionality that comes with it. As a pianist and creative writer that has always been fascinated with exploring the multi-faceted human psyche through art, I have become highly interested in youth mental health advocacy and the importance of art as a form of self-expression and healing. I hope to continue getting closer with my culture and becoming more civically involved with my communities.
Despite being on the youth council that took part in planning this year’s national UCA convention, I didn’t know what to expect from this trip beyond the panel schedules we were given beforehand and the sense of independence I hoped to experience. I wrote in my youth council applications that the Chinese American experience is not a monolith, but over the course of three days, I was able to experience firsthand how impactful it is to share a part of my identity with other people and how liberating labels can be when you embrace the community, they welcome you into.
I have never felt ashamed of my identity, but I have never been given the chance to feel proud, either. The Chinese American circles I have grown up with have tended to give in to the model minority myth, along with cultural values of staunch individualism and self-sufficiency. Seeing so many youths at the convention promote and partake in civic engagement when I have been raised in a politically indifferent environment was truly inspiring, especially with the emphasis on unified community efforts rather than achievement-centered competition.
I was able to take part in the youth showcase with Equinox, a youth mental health project I am in the early stages of developing. Although I was worried about the way
the rudimentary draft, I had of my project would be received compared to everyone else’s established organizations, the showcase was not the stressful attempt to prove myself that I’d expected; instead, it was a way for me to connect with like-minded people in a space that uplifted young voices and ideas.
I also had the opportunity to be a panelist on WAVES: Mental Health Track’s LGBTQ+ panel, and it was one of the most fulfilling conversations I’ve had in a long time. The panel ran over its 1-hour time frame by another hour and I learned so much from the other panelists and the audience, who represented a surprisingly diverse group of varying generations and personal relations to queer identities. It was so meaningful for me, and hopefully for many others at the panel, to be able to discuss queerness and mental health when both topics are still considered taboo in the Chinese American community. Reaching mutual understanding through education and intergenerational dialogue is the surest path to acceptance of marginalized groups in our own community, and I’m so grateful that I was given the opportunity to be a part of that conversation.
The most memorable part of the convention, however, was the friendships that I made over such a short period of time. I’m lucky that I was able to find an instant connection with a completely new group of people, and it’ll be a while before I forget about the fun we had and the unexpectedly emotional conversations that came up in the middle of the night. My most important takeaway from this convention is the idea that I can be equally Chinese and American without losing the authenticity of my intersectional identities, and that multiple generations can reconcile over shared struggles and celebrations in a space where my reality is widely understood—and that is what continues to be my reassurance that progress is attainable and in the capable hands of the upcoming generations.”
Thank you for reading about Jenny Deng’s UCA youth convention experience, which took place from July 14th to July 16th. You can learn more about Jenny, one of our marketing volunteers, and our other wonderful UCA youth council members here. Stay tuned for future AAPI news pieces, short stories, and poetry.